I can't believe I'm writing this but here goes:

*this is going to sound like a fake troll to get a response on the net but this is an honest account*

I was always a serious Christian but over the past two years fell out of faith emotionally/intellectually (I've since returned). During this time I got to know a guy who was a bit of a loner/advid atheist with serious issues with religion as he is the son of a well-known Christian figure... We debated and for a while I fell in with his philosophy and was just about ready to get into a serious relationship with him (still thinking maybe I could 'convert' him down the road... ) but walked away in the end because a part of me just couldn't accept his reality...

Well it turns out he's not simply an atheist. I don't know who I'm dealing with anymore. Please don't think I'm insane for what I'm about to write; Part of me is having a hard time figuring it out/accepting this myself...

Our back-and-forth argument about faith went on for a while online over the past year as he was travelling. From my standpoint, I thought I was in a playful theological debate with a guy I kind of had feelings for. Apparently from his end, he was trying to kill me. I honestly think this person is either possessed or Satan himself. Over the past year I have had very strange dreams involving him. I tried to commit suicide three times and failed, had severe panic attacks I couldn't explain, and was treated for very serious depression. I finally went to an online suicide forum for help after coming out of my latest bout of severe depression and found posts written [I]to me from him[/I] starting months ago, with the intention that he knew I would come to the forum at some point and read them. He talked about experiences I was going through that I did, in fact, go through; about how he was 'contacting' me. About how he 'loved' me and was 'fascinated' by me. At the same time he talked about how I taught him 'how to hate' and that he 'contacted HIM' and that 'I am going to fall' and that he has been 'playing' with me, but at the same time that 'he wants me to live so we can become one'. He talks in biblical imagery and has an unnerving ability to describe what is going on in my head and what I have experienced over the past year. He knew when I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt and he knew why, on the day. He is only a 40 minute drive from me at the moment and I am very, very concerned... This is all beyond me. It's beyond me that a man I thought was caring and outwardly not so unordinary (other than that he was a bit of a heretic... which a lot of college guys can be) could be so controlling, vicious and... demonic??????? Has anyone had an experience like this????? I know I probably sound crazy but this is really happening and I would love any and all help/guidance in this matter.

I have made my peace with God and do not feel suicidal anymore. I really do believe that I was under demonic oppression. But he is still out there, near my town, and I don't know what to do... especially given that he is the son of a high-profile family.

To help you out here, creepedout; I'm going to look to Deuteronomy 33:27.

Now Moses, a great prophet and man of God, delivers a prophetic benediction to Israel in this chapter; blessing the tribes and telling them that God will help them to seek and to set their affections on the things above; and to turn their souls from earthly objects; and that nothing could hurt those whom had their hearts purified in God’s holiness and his cleansing law.

Never were the people of Israel so well armed with hope, comfort and assurance against their enemies, which were at this time- The Canaanites.

Now, there’s a verse in this chapter I will be focusing on. Verses 27. but before I share it with you, let me build up to it a little.

Let us picture a man, toiling under the high noon sun; before him is a seemingly impossible task:

A heavy load has been placed upon his back. (Responsibilities, duties, addictions, hardships ect.)

There is a narrow mountain path before him laced with sharp twists, sudden drops and many false paths. (the path of life)

There is a giant before him with a sharp rod, who jabs and beats the poor traveler (our enemies and Satan)

The man feels utterly doomed as he looks forward at the task in which is his; and knows that if relief doesn’t come, he will die.

Night falls, and the man is continuing his up hill journey; the load on his back is getting heavier by the step, and his blood, sweat and tears are covering his body.

The giant is still walking in front of him- cursing, beating and jabbing the traveler with his sharp rod.

The man is weak with frustration, weak with pain, and weak with exhaustion.

But then suddenly, another man comes up from behind the traveler and begins to walk along side him. This man is much larger than both the tired traveler and the giant.

This man drives off the giant; and just as the poor traveler crumbles in exhaustion- the larger man catches him from hitting the rocky ground.

Finding a clear and safe opening in the path, the man takes the exhausted and beaten traveler- in his arms - to where he can lie down and rest.

There; his rescuer cuts the burden from his back and soothes and cleans his wounds.

The exhausted, and bloodied traveler who thought of himself as doomed, now finds peace, rest and comfort.

Now, lets look at the text: Deuteronomy 33:27
“The eternal God is your refuge,
and underneath are the everlasting arms.
He will drive out your enemy before you,
saying, 'Destroy him!”

Is this not so true of our Savior? That is of God- who has the ability to give us rest-

We who have slighted His grace.
We who are murderers.
Adulterers.
Thieves.
Blasphemers.
And we who have fallen short of the Glory of God.

He has the ability and desire to give us rest. Not rest, as in sleeping in on a Saturday morning, or Rest as in taking time off work for a holiday.

But Spiritual Rest for a soul that is ready to see justice done- Justice for a soul in need of refuge; in need of the cleansing and purging nature of God’s grace.

Is this not such a sweet verse?

That when our lives are filled with trouble and distress, when our hearts beg for a clean conscience, when there is a longing and genuine eagerness to let God’s grace sweep sin out of our lives;

That we may fall into the open arms, the immovable arms, the everlasting arms of the Savior.

“The eternal God is your refuge,
and underneath are the everlasting arms…”

Such comfort can be found in this verse, and when we are held in Christ’s arms; never will He drop us or allow us to be plucked from them.

Many of us today have responsibilities, duties, hardships, stress, addictions, doubt, temptations, pain, worry and frustration.

And many of us carry all these things around with us; mentally, physically and spiritually, and it weighs us down.

We feel anxiety because we have to get something done, or we feel frustration because we’ve forgotten to get something done.

We have worry because of a current or an ongoing hardship; we have hardships because of forgotten duties.

We have forgotten duties because of ongoing temptations

We have weakness to temptation because of our hidden addictions.

We have our hidden addictions because of ongoing doubt; and we have ongoing doubt because of anxiety to get something down.

And around and around it goes- it’s an endless cycle of a self righteous heart and are our sinful carnage.

We’re suffocating underneath a worldly burden that’s strapped to our backs; that Satan loves to jump on; and who loves to make the journey through life hard, painful and hopeless.

And many people today know nothing but this type of life- a life that is clinging to sinful heart and a life that thinks it’s really alive- when really it hasn’t lived at all.

And is in fact a life, which is dead in trespasses and sin.

And they are left to walk through the narrow mountain path of life; the path that is laced with sharp twists, sudden drops and many false paths.

And Satan is there; he’s always there to jab us, to push us down, to whisper doubt and distractions in our ear, to make us feel worthless and to stand in our path and block our vision from hope and truth.

He is the ultimate giant in the universe, and his carnage trips up many people.

Let look at Ephesians 2:1-5:

"And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others. But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved).

Christ, the Father of Eternity, the true and everlasting God is the refuge of his people; bigger than any giant or shadow in the universe.

Christ is there- open arms; to whom sinners under a sense of sin- can flee to for shelter; and where they are safe from the affliction of the shadows, the coming wrath of God, and the second death.

God is our “refuge”; and in the literal translation of this word- God is our “mansion-house, our dwelling place”.

In which we are safe- where our sin indulging heart can be at rest, and where He will drive out Satan and the Spiritual enemies of his people, whom to dispossess is a work of mighty power; in which Christ gives the almighty order to destroy them- and who will tread Satan under the feet of all believers.

“…He will drive out your enemy before you,
saying, 'Destroy him!”

Just as Christ cast the Canaanites out of the land of Canaan, to make room for His chosen people- Israel- so will Christ cast out Satan from the heart of the unbeliever- and make the unbeliever- a believer and conqueror over Satan.

In conclusion, I hope this helped you out in some way. What I'm trying to get across is that this world is a pretty dark and scary place. Satan has his minions everywhere practicing evil deeds and trying to trip people up- and they seem to be pretty good at it. But something that we must ALWAYS remember is that our God is greater and stronger than any shadow or demon. There is a saying I like- "Don't tell God how big the storm is. Tell the storm how big your God is".

Every person has some sorrow, some burden, some pain that breaks the heart; but God is our Mansion-house, our dwelling place- our Refuge!

And Underneath us, are His Everlasting arms.

And if we allow our hearts to be cleansed, to be purged, to be covered by the blood of the Lamb- to repent, honestly- earnestly and sincerely

Then Christ will cast all the shadows and Evil from our heart- and we will tread Satan under our feet!

“The eternal God is your refuge,
and underneath are the everlasting arms.
He will drive out your enemy before you,
saying, 'Destroy him!”


God Bless, LM

Thank you so much for taking the time to resond, I cannot tell you how much your insight/support has meant. God bless!!

creepedout, seek God and rely on Him truthfully...cast your burden on Him...His protection is no fairy tale...it is seriously real..."ask and it should be given..."

it'll be helpful to find christian friends in your neighborhood who can pray with you, join a christian community or cell group for bible study...

you are in my prayers!

creepedout This is all good advice. I must say that i agree with both Living Martyr and Agape May.

The Lord God is our refuge and are strength Take the matter to him and get prayer covreadeg.

And allways rember what the Lord Jesus Christ says:

Mat 10:28 And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

This man may be a satinist or even posesed but rember you have retuernd to the Lord you are His.
And there is nothing that can change that. Hold strong to you're Faith in Him and know that no matter what comes next will be far greater that will eventualy befall this person should continue on the path he is now on